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princess rain in the face

there’s something about making art that always makes me cry. so so much. i mean, let’s be honest, i cry a lot to begin with. i always have. in fact, i cry a whole fucking lot less now than i used to. but still, when i’m creating new work, i cry my eyes out the entire time. i mean, of course there are other factors that make me cry, and there are many other moments in my life when i cry a fuck-ton as well, but this…this moment, here, now, making this show…i can’t stop crying.

3 years ago, in grad school, i made this piece:

crying wall

crying wall detail

it was a cathartic piece. it took a long time to make–much longer than my patience usually allows me. and a long time to take down… it was also, like crying, ephemeral. all that’s left of this piece are these images and some bits of materials left scattered around my studio.

i read this quote by Matisse several years ago, about how for him, every one of his gorgeous, luscious paintings was so painful to make. he compared it to being raped. which is nothing that i take lightly–as metaphor or otherwise. it resonated with me, though. there is something quite painful in the process of drawing out original artwork. ask any of my collaborators: i’m not always much of a joy to be around in the midst of the creative process. not that i’m a diva, but i do get hit with intense emotions. incapacitating emotional moments. today i wrote that it feels like i’m in an ocean of overwhelm and the waves of it keep knocking me down. and i’m starting to have a hard time standing up. but…maybe being swept out into it is actually just what i need. an ocean of tears to carry me away to a land of mermaids and sea urchins living in our little hearts–and that is where the work is.

perhaps.

star death–art punk geniuses.

This band has gotten me through some serious creative slumps like no other. They were in st. louis in the late 90’s/early 2000’s, and they are total geniuses. Blueberry McGregor is the lead singer/guitarist/poetic genius. I love her. I love them. The band also consists of Tobi Parks on bass and Aleta Lanier on drums, with a slew of other friends and pals including Simon Strikeback on tenor sax. I want to share a piece of that with you. In case you’re feeling stuck.

star death, photo by Andrew Jansen

(thank you amy whited for posting these…you rock!!!!)

02 Song To Save You
04 Three Sisters
08 All Dreams Are Dangerous

someone else’s thoughts on fear/love/jealousy

“There is a saying: ‘There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.’ I don’t believe a word of it. Often, the way it works in practice is quite the opposite. You get rid of fear, and the love follows more easily. The ‘getting rid of fear’ part, though, is the trick.”
-Franklin Veaux

and then some images post-videoshoot…can you tell how much i love myself? (is this a study in narcissism?)

in my studio...

closeup face

night owl watch

spent the day editing editing editing like crazy. need to work on the script more. so much rendering, so much layering, so much so much so much.

here’s a gem for you from this weekend’s fabulous video shoot…

ENJOY!!!

mailing list mailing list mailing list

hey sweet friends,

if you want to join my mailing list (as in, you didn’t get an emailed invite last week b/c i don’t have your email address) to get updates on what i’m working on and when it’s gonna be shown, hit me up! give me your email and tell me to add you OR go to this website:

http://groups.google.com/group/kmeister-MailingList/subscribe

xoxo